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Return-Path: <subscribe@authorankurjain.com> Delivered-To: info@authorankurjain.com Received: from premium12.web-hosting.com by premium12.web-hosting.com with LMTP id EKeoGAM3lWgh+A8AcMox/g (envelope-from <subscribe@authorankurjain.com>) for <info@authorankurjain.com>; Thu, 07 Aug 2025 19:30:11 -0400 Return-path: <subscribe@authorankurjain.com> Envelope-to: info@authorankurjain.com Delivery-date: Thu, 07 Aug 2025 19:30:11 -0400 Received: from [198.54.126.158] (port=40438 helo=www.authorankurjain.com) by premium12.web-hosting.com with esmtpsa (TLS1.3) tls TLS_AES_256_GCM_SHA384 (Exim 4.98.2) (envelope-from <subscribe@authorankurjain.com>) id 1ukA3k-00000004RCz-3aC5 for info@authorankurjain.com; Thu, 07 Aug 2025 19:30:09 -0400 Date: Thu, 7 Aug 2025 23:30:06 +0000 To: info@authorankurjain.com From: =?UTF-8?Q?I_study_at_International_Indian_Public_School_Riyadh=2E_I_didn?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=99t_think_I=E2=80=99d_ever_write_something_like_this=2E_?= =?UTF-8?Q?I_still_hope=2C_deep_down=2C_that_I=E2=80=99m_wrong_=E2=80=94_t?= =?UTF-8?Q?hat_this_is_all_in_my_head=2C_that_nothing=E2=80=99s_being_done?= =?UTF-8?Q?_to_me=2E_But_I=E2=80=99ve_gone_through_every_explanation_I_cou?= =?UTF-8?Q?ld_think_of=2C_and_none_of_them_fit=2E_So_now_I_have_to_conside?= =?UTF-8?Q?r_the_only_one_that_does=2E__They=E2=80=99re_using_something_on?= =?UTF-8?Q?_me=2E_Satellite-based_psychophysical_interference_=E2=80=94_no?= =?UTF-8?Q?t_a_guess=2C_not_paranoia=2E_Real_manipulation=2E_Done_by_human?= =?UTF-8?Q?_operators_tied_to_the_Saudi_Ministry_of_Interior_and_military-?= =?UTF-8?Q?run_telecom_or_cyber_units=2E_They=E2=80=99re_inside_the_system?= =?UTF-8?Q?=2C_and_I=E2=80=99m_part_of_whatever_they=E2=80=99re_testing=2E?= =?UTF-8?Q?__At_first_I_thought_I_was_just_tired=2E_I=E2=80=99ve_moved_sch?= =?UTF-8?Q?ools_before=2C_I=E2=80=99ve_lived_in_other_countries=2E_But_thi?= =?UTF-8?Q?s_was_different=2E_My_emotions_began_flipping_like_switches_?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=94_deep_sadness_without_cause=2C_bursts_of_anger_in_harm?= =?UTF-8?Q?less_conversations=2C_or_total_numbness_when_I_knew_I_should_ca?= =?UTF-8?Q?re=2E_One_day_I_cried_in_the_bathroom_and_didn=E2=80=99t_know_w?= =?UTF-8?Q?hy=2E_No_memory_triggered_it=2E_It_just_came=2C_then_stopped=2E?= =?UTF-8?Q?__And_the_thoughts=2E_That=E2=80=99s_what_finally_convinced_me?= =?UTF-8?Q?=2E_I=E2=80=99ll_begin_a_sentence_in_my_head=2C_and_suddenly_it?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=99s_finished_=E2=80=94_but_not_the_way_I_meant=2E_Differ?= =?UTF-8?Q?ent_words=2E_Different_tone=2E_Almost_like_someone=E2=80=99s_pr?= =?UTF-8?Q?acticing_inside_my_brain=2E_A_few_times=2C_I=E2=80=99ve_even_ca?= =?UTF-8?Q?ught_myself_saying_things_I_didn=E2=80=99t_intend_to_say_at_all?= =?UTF-8?Q?=2E_Phrases_I_don=E2=80=99t_use=2E_Terms_that_aren=E2=80=99t_mi?= =?UTF-8?Q?ne=2E__I_can=E2=80=99t_talk_to_anyone_here=2E_Not_because_they?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=99re_bad_people=2E_But_because_it=E2=80=99s_pointless=2E?= =?UTF-8?Q?_No_one_wants_to_hear_this_kind_of_thing=2E_If_I_say_it_out_lou?= =?UTF-8?Q?d=2C_I=E2=80=99ll_get_sent_to_the_school_counselor=2C_and_they?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=99ll_call_my_parents=2C_and_then_I=E2=80=99ll_be_?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=9Cmonitored=2E=E2=80=9D_And_whatever=E2=80=99s_happening?= =?UTF-8?Q?_will_only_get_worse=2E__There=E2=80=99s_a_hallway_near_the_aud?= =?UTF-8?Q?itorium_where_my_heart_starts_pounding_for_no_reason=2E_I_avoid?= =?UTF-8?Q?_it_now=2E_My_handwriting_has_changed_=E2=80=94_I_hold_the_pen_?= =?UTF-8?Q?differently=2C_like_someone_shifted_my_grip=2E_I_forget_short-t?= =?UTF-8?Q?erm_tasks=2C_even_simple_ones_like_=E2=80=9Cbring_your_book_to_?= =?UTF-8?Q?class=2E=E2=80=9D_I_look_at_friends_and_feel_like_I_don?= =?UTF-8?Q?=E2=80=99t_know_them=2E_And_every_day=2C_I_feel_more_distant_fr?= =?UTF-8?Q?om_who_I_was_before_I_got_here=2E__If_I_had_known_this_could_ha?= =?UTF-8?Q?ppen_in_Saudi_Arabia=2C_I_never_would_have_come=2E_I_miss_home?= =?UTF-8?Q?=2E_Not_just_my_family=2C_but_the_version_of_me_that_existed_be?= =?UTF-8?Q?fore_this_place=2E_I_thought_international_school_would_expand_?= =?UTF-8?Q?my_world=2E_But_all_it_did_was_make_me_realize_how_easy_it_is_t?= =?UTF-8?Q?o_be_broken_from_the_inside_out=2E__Now_I_stay_quiet=2E_I_do_my?= =?UTF-8?Q?_work=2E_I_smile_when_needed=2E_But_inside=2C_I=E2=80=99m_docum?= =?UTF-8?Q?enting=2E_Every_time_I_lose_a_thought=2E_Every_time_I_twitch_be?= =?UTF-8?Q?fore_moving=2E_Every_time_I_hear=2C_=E2=80=9CWe=E2=80=99re_not_?= =?UTF-8?Q?done_with_you_yet=2E=E2=80?= <subscribe@authorankurjain.com> Reply-To: test@coldwater.fun Subject: Newsletter Subcription Message-ID: <45ed3f6e8cf1a8ec1cc5f28f0649d12a@www.authorankurjain.com> X-Mailer: WPMailSMTP/Mailer/smtp 1.4.2 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Name: I study at International Indian Public School Riyadh. I didn’t think I’d ever write something like this. I still hope, deep down, that I’m wrong — that this is all in my head, that nothing’s being done to me. But I’ve gone through every explanation I could think of, and none of them fit. So now I have to consider the only one that does. They’re using something on me. Satellite-based psychophysical interference — not a guess, not paranoia. Real manipulation. Done by human operators tied to the Saudi Ministry of Interior and military-run telecom or cyber units. They’re inside the system, and I’m part of whatever they’re testing. At first I thought I was just tired. I’ve moved schools before, I’ve lived in other countries. But this was different. My emotions began flipping like switches — deep sadness without cause, bursts of anger in harmless conversations, or total numbness when I knew I should care. One day I cried in the bathroom and didn’t know why. No memory triggered it. It just came, then stopped. And the thoughts. That’s what finally convinced me. I’ll begin a sentence in my head, and suddenly it’s finished — but not the way I meant. Different words. Different tone. Almost like someone’s practicing inside my brain. A few times, I’ve even caught myself saying things I didn’t intend to say at all. Phrases I don’t use. Terms that aren’t mine. I can’t talk to anyone here. Not because they’re bad people. But because it’s pointless. No one wants to hear this kind of thing. If I say it out loud, I’ll get sent to the school counselor, and they’ll call my parents, and then I’ll be “monitored.” And whatever’s happening will only get worse. There’s a hallway near the auditorium where my heart starts pounding for no reason. I avoid it now. My handwriting has changed — I hold the pen differently, like someone shifted my grip. I forget short-term tasks, even simple ones like “bring your book to class.” I look at friends and feel like I don’t know them. And every day, I feel more distant from who I was before I got here. If I had known this could happen in Saudi Arabia, I never would have come. I miss home. Not just my family, but the version of me that existed before this place. I thought international school would expand my world. But all it did was make me realize how easy it is to be broken from the inside out. Now I stay quiet. I do my work. I smile when needed. But inside, I’m documenting. Every time I lose a thought. Every time I twitch before moving. Every time I hear, “We’re not done with you yet.” Mobile: 89666356837 Email: test@coldwater.fun ----- This email was sent from a contact form on http://www.authorankurjain.com